Satellite Image, hurricane track, and RED FLAG alert on Pensacola Beach before the storm hits
IVAN
As you can see, Ivan is in the Gulf and will be hitting the coastal states soon. In Pensacola, my daughter and her family will be relocating inland 20 miles from their house near the beach. I have several friends who also live here so we continue to pray for safety and mercy of the LORD. Today He reminded me of the verse from Jeremiah 39:18 which I also have on my wall here in Berlin: "Because you trusted me, I will preserve your life and keep you safe. I, the LORD, have spoken!" HALLELUJAH!!!

"LORD, HELP!"
Ivan, the third hurricane in a month hitting Florida, is heading right for my family and friends in Pensacola and we are believing and trusting God for DIVINE INTERVENTION - "LORD, HELP!" Verses 23-32 of Psalm 107 encouraged me last night: "Some went off in ships, plying the trade routes of the world. They, too, observed the LORD's power in action, his impressive works on the deepest seas. He spoke, and the winds rose, stirring up the waves. Their ships were tossed to the heavens and sank again to the depths; the sailors cringed in terror. They reeled and staggered like drunkards and were at their wits' end. "LORD, help!" they cried in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He calmed the storm to a whisper and stilled the waves. What a blessing was that stillness as he brought them safely into harbor! Let them praise the LORD for his great love and for all his wonderful deeds to them. Let them exalt him publicly before the congregation and before the leaders of the nation." (track hurricanes here)

WORSHIPPING JESUS
I've been wanting to go into the Lutheran churches here in Berlin and simply worship Jesus, so a couple of weeks ago, we asked the priest at the Kudamm Lutheran church if I could sing a worship song in the church someday. He gave us a phone number and with Bianka's help, yesterday I worshipped Jesus in two songs during the 6pm service! Jesus loves these people and the Holy Spirit kept telling me to be childlike, showing love. Besides Bianka, Daniel and also Judith came with me. I am not a professional singer but I do love the LORD, so afterwards the LORD reminded me that God deliberately chooses things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. MAY REVIVAL FIRE COME TO THE GERMAN STATE CHURCH IN JESUS NAME!

THE NECESSITY OF THE DESERT by Os Hillman
I have become an alien in a foreign land - Exodus 2:22
"God's preparation of a leader involves training, extended times of waiting, pain, rejection, and isolation. Are you ready to sign up? Moses was brought up in Pharaoh's court. He had the very best of everything-education, clothing, food, and personal care. But there came a time when the man God would use to free an entire people from slavery was going to have to learn to be the leader God wanted. At age 40, when most of us want to be thinking about winding down instead of beginning a new career, Moses was forced to flee to the desert. Like Joseph and Abraham, Moses had to endure some difficult years of preparation that first involved removal from his current situation. He went from notoriety to obscurity, from limitless resources to no resources, from activity and action to inactivity and solitude. And, most importantly, waiting. And waiting. And waiting. He probably thought he would die in the land of Midian. Then one day, a full 40 years from the day he arrived, God appeared to Moses in a burning bush. Everything changed. God said, "It is time." The years had seasoned the vessel to prepare him to accomplish the work. God is preparing many workplace believers today. The circumstances may be different. The time frames may not be quite as long. But the characteristics of the training are still the same. Do not try to shortcut the desert time of God. It only leads to cul-de-sacs, which force you to revisit the lessons you are meant to learn. Embrace them, so that He can use your life for something extraordinary."

JESUS-TAG 2004
Several thousand came from all over Germany to Berlin today for the JESUS DAY. We saw many familiar faces and had some good conversations. People kept asking me for my "flyer" which was a tract about Jesus! A few non-believers wanted to know why I was carrying a cross AND a flag of Israel. I said, "Jesus was born in Israel, I love Israel, Jesus is coming back to Israel, and I pray for the peace of Jerusalem!"

THREE YEARS AGO...
All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us... For when God comforts us, it is so that we, in turn, can be an encouragement to others. (from 2 Corinthians 1)

"You are like a private garden, my treasure, my bride!" - Jesus
The place of refreshing is in the presence of the LORD. He is saying to each of us, "Be still and know that I am God. In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength. I am with you always, so don't go by your circumstances, go by My Word!" As wonderful and exciting it is on the mission field, so it is challenging and intense. Yes, it is in the hidden, personal, worshipping life of the saint that we are trained for battle - we are waging war against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms. And we do this not by force nor by strength, but by the Spirit of the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY. Jesus said we would be hated because of our allegiance to Him, so we shouldn't be too surprised when our message of Hope is not embraced by everyone. In fact, we are to REJOICE and LEAP FOR JOY when this happens! Yesterday, prompted by the Holy Spirit on the u-bahn train, we boldly preached the Good News of Jesus Christ's forgiveness of sins, His crucifixion, and His resurrection. One moslem man listened and said he respected what we were doing and as he left the train said something like, "Keep doing what you are doing. It is a good thing!" So after I spoke with Bianka translating, she then began to share her heart and after only a few minutes, one man sitting next to me, took offense, jumped out of his seat and angrily confronted Bianka a few inches from her face telling her to be quiet. She lovingly asked him why but he gave no reason. Then as we reached our stop, a few others angrily confronted her. Of course, she humbly took their hostile words and may the LORD bless her for it, but truly they were opposing JESUS Who passionately loves them and is the ONLY One Who can set them FREE. The whole experience was upsetting and heartbreaking to see such hard hearts. MAY NOTHING STOP THE GOSPEL FROM GOING FORTH AS WE OBEY JESUS AND PROCLAIM THE TRUTH IN LOVE TO A LOST AND DYING WORLD - THE TIME IS SHORT!

You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
(from David's prayer to the LORD in Psalm 139)
As expected, a third federal judge has declared the USA's ban on partial-birth abortions unconstitutional because it did not contain a disputed health exception. (Go here to read "How to dethrone tyrannical judges") The decision sets up the next stage of the legal battle in a federal appeals court. (read article) PARTIAL-BIRTH IS NEVER NEEDED! And to quote one of these judges, partial-birth abortion is "gruesome, brutal, barbaric and uncivilized." (see diagram) Please tell me, how is this any different from the actions of the demonized Nazi, Aldolf Hitler?? OH LORD JESUS, PLEASE FORGIVE US FOR ALL THE MANY CRUEL DEATHS OF THESE INNOCNET UNBORN CHILDREN!

S-BAHN BERLIN TRAIN
This afternoon, Maria and I, along with her friend Andre, were on the S-bahn train when I felt strongly prompted by the Holy Spirit to preach the Gospel, so I did and Maria translated. I had never done this before but had mentioned to both Maria and Bianka that I wanted to do it sometime. We only had a few minutes before the next stop, so the message was short and to the point. Then when the train stopped, we hopped off and and ran into the next train car and preached again - four times total - HALLELUJAH! It was SO FUN! I started like this: "Excuse me! I have something important to tell you! I am not here to sell newspapers. I am not here to take your money. I am here to tell you about my BEST FRIEND, JESUS!" While I talked the reponse was pretty quiet until I mentioned "JESUS" - then sometimes a little laughter and some mocking but many obviously did not want to hear this. There were a few smiles, but like it or not, they ALL heard the Good News. Only the LORD knows what His Words will do in their hearts! WILL YOU PLEASE SAVE AND SET FREE THE BERLIN PEOPLE, LORD JESUS?

"GIVE IT AWAY!"
Yesterday at the Kudamm 6 of us met and worshipped the LORD while each taking turns preaching to the crowd - GREAT FUN! LOTS of seeds were planted in this atheistic town, we had several good conversations, prayed with others and at least one man got saved - DANKE JESUS! We will be going back on Friday, so please join us if you can. This morning I read a POWERFUL testimony which brought tears to my eyes because of GOD'S FAITHFULNESS: "Go Serve The Lord" by John Edwards. He said, "I was driving to work just like any usual day, feeling quite good about my car because I'd just had the motor reconditioned, the air-conditioner restored and a sound system with graphic equalizer installed. Then unexpectedly God spoke to me, “…give it away…” I ignored the thought and kept driving. But it came again: “Give it away.” “Ok Lord – I’ll give it away on the weekend,” I said. “No – after work today will be fine,” He replied. And I knew who I had to give it to. Then when I got to work, the Lord started speaking to me again. “Its time you gave notice in your job.” “What do you want me to do Lord?” I asked. Just then He showed me a picture of Australia with pathways criss-crossed all over it. “Just go wherever I tell you to go, and preach the Gospel,” He said. “How am I going to live without an income? I’m not going to chuck in a perfectly good job and go on the dole, or become another statistic on the unemployment figures,” I said. “You won’t have to. Just trust me – I’ll provide everything,” He replied. So I gave notice in my job and then, after work, I drove to my friend’s house who I felt led to give my car to. I knocked on his door – but he wasn’t home. “Well there you go,” I thought, “this wasn’t God, after all.” And I was just going to go home and forget the whole thing. “Pity about the job – but atleast I’ve still got the car,” I thought. So I got back in my car – but it wouldn’t start! Slightly annoyed, I popped the bonnet and got out to try and find the problem. And while I was delayed, my friend returned home. “Oh John, what are you doing here?” “Wouldn’t you like to know!” I thought. I didn’t quite know how to tell him I was there to give him my car, so I said nothing about it. He invited me in, and the first thing he said to me was, “John, my wife and I have been praying – we’re really asking God to give us a car.” That was so good to hear! (A confirmation). So I threw him the keys and said, “She’s all yours then.” He thought I was only joking and threw the keys back. “I’m not joking – you’ve been praying for a car – so its yours!” And I threw him the keys again. “Very funny,” he said, and handed me back the keys. Eventually I said, "Look. Come out to the car. I'll need to show you a few things." I took him out to the car and let him sit in it. “You are joking aren’t you?” he looked up at me. And I caught a bus and train home." TO READ THE REST OF HIS AMAZING STORY, CLICK HERE!

Buddhist Monk says "YES" to JESUS!
"THEY SHOULD BELIEVE IN JESUS"
When he became ill with malaria and was treated in a Christian hospital, a loving staff member gave him a Bible and this began his journey to Truth. To read his story, please click here. Today I received an email about ANOTHER Buddhist monk who also got sick with maleria but he died. Here is his story: "I found myself in a powerful storm which blew everything away. Not a single tree, nothing was left standing. I was in an empty plain. After some time, I crossed a river, and saw a terrible lake of fire. I was confused, because Buddhism knows no such thing. I did not know that it was Hell until I met Yama, the King of Hell. His face was that of a lion, his feet like snakes, and he had many horns on his head. When I asked his name, he said 'I am the King of Hell, the Destroyer'. I then saw the saffron-coloured robes of Myanmar's monks in the fire, and upon looking closer, saw the shaven head of my former teacher who had been killed in a car accident. 'Why is he in the lake of fire?' I asked. 'He was a very good teacher. 'Yes, he was a good teacher,' said Yama, 'but he did not believe in Jesus Christ. That's why he is in Hell.' I was then shown another man, with long hair bound in a ball on the left side of his head. He also wore a robe, and when I asked who he was, I was told 'Gautama', (Buddha).' I was distraught. Buddha in Hell, with all of his ethics and moral character?' 'It is not important how good he was. He did not believe in the eternal God, so he is in Hell,' answered the King of Hell. I also saw Aung San, the revolutionary leader. 'He is here because he persecuted and killed Christians, but mainly because he did not believe in Jesus Christ,' I was told. Another man was very tall, wearing armour and carrying a sword and shield. He had a wound on his forehead. He was larger than anyone else I could see, around 22 feet tall. The King of Hell said 'That is Goliath, who is in Hell because he mocked the eternal God and his servant David.' I had never heard of either Goliath or David. Another 'King of Hell' approached me and asked 'Are you also going into the lake of fire?'. 'No,' I said, 'I am just here to look.' 'You are right,' the creature said. 'You only came to look. I can't find your name. You'll have to go back to where you came from.' On the way back, I saw two paths, one wide, one narrow. The narrow path, which I followed for about an hour, was soon made of pure gold. I could see my own reflection perfectly! A man calling himself Peter told me 'Now go back to tell the people who worship Buddha and other gods that they will end up in Hell if they do not change. They should believe in Jesus." (To read more, click here.)

ARE YOU BAPTISED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT?
During the forty days after Jesus' crucifixion, he told his disciples, "Do not leave Jerusalem until the Father sends you what he promised. Remember, I have told you about this before. John baptized with water, but in just a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit." So later after Jesus ascended to heaven, on the day of Pentecost, seven weeks after Jesus' resurrection, the believers were meeting together in one place and suddenly, there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty windstorm in the skies above them. It filled the house where they were meeting and what looked like flames or tongues of fire appeared and settled on each of them. EVERYONE present was filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking in other languages as the Holy Spirit gave them this ability. (click HERE to read more)

WATCH FOR HIS RETURN!
This has been a painful week as over 400 innocent Russian people, many of them children, were ruthlessly terrorized and killed by Muslim jihadists - may the LORD heal, comfort, and help these families in Jesus name. And today a massive hurricane is currently sweeping across Florida where some of my family live - may the LORD use this to draw us each closer to Him. Plus, there continues to be much unrest in many nations around the world - we pray for the Prince of Peace to bring true peace to the hearts of man. Jesus spoke a lot about the last days and in Matthew 24, he says, "Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will remain forever. However, no one knows the day or the hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows. When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah's day. In those days before the Flood, the people were enjoying banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat. People didn't realize what was going to happen until the Flood came and swept them all away. That is the way it will be when the Son of Man comes." Then in Mark 13, Jesus says, "Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will remain forever. However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows. And since you don't know when they will happen, stay alert and keep watch. The coming of the Son of Man can be compared with that of a man who left home to go on a trip. He gave each of his employees instructions about the work they were to do, and he told the gatekeeper to watch for his return. So keep a sharp lookout! For you do not know when the homeowner will return--at evening, midnight, early dawn, or late daybreak. Don't let him find you sleeping when he arrives without warning. What I say to you I say to everyone: Watch for his return!" May we all stay JESUS FOCUSED in these last days and find PEACE in the eye of the storms of life!

Bianka & Dirk preaching at Kudamm
"GO INTO ALL THE WORLD AND PREACH THE GOOD NEWS TO EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE" - Jesus
On Saturdays, the Kudamm is always full of activity and people and when Bianka, Dirk, Simon, Anja & I met, we walked around looking for a good place to worship and evangelize. We found one man from a local church already singing with a guitar and preaching Jesus! Then when he took a break, Bianka, Dirk & I took turns preaching, using this guys microphone! Afterwards, we walked around and saw ANOTHER group of Christians singing songs about Jesus! COOL! And when we talked to our musician friends from Peru, they asked us if we wanted to preach using THEIR microphones, so we did and Simon joined us this time. Both Dirk and Simon had never done this - we all were greatly blessed - DANKE JESUS! We talked to several people and prayed for some - it was SO GREAT seeing how the LORD is bringing His evangelists out on the streets of Berlin - MORE LORD!

"BE STILL, FRANCES!"
Let's agree in prayer for Hurricane Frances (track the storm HERE) to NOT hurt anyone nor cause personal damage in Florida but rather that the winds die down and go back out to sea. Is anything TOO difficult for the LORD GOD Who created heaven and earth with His Word?? DEAR HEAVENLY FATHER, we ask that you stop the destructive winds of this storm and turn it back out to sea. You tell us in Your Word to ASK in faith believing and so we are doing that now. We BELIEVE You are able to do this! WILL YOU STOP THIS STORM so that lives are not lost nor hurt in it? We know You can stop a storm - this is NOT a difficult task for you. May people now turn to You in prayer rather than panic & fear. You have not given us a spirit of fear, but a Spirit of Love, Power, and a Sound Mind and Self-control. LET FAITH RISE UP in each of us! Please forgive us of our sins (like unbelief, doubt, disobedience, rebellion, selfishness, pride, complaining, being critical of You and of others, etc), LORD GOD, and please have mercy on us even now. Help us to have eyes to see You, ears to hear You, and a heart to obey You, Holy Spirit. Thank You for Your peace that passes all understanding. We praise Your name because You are a GOOD GOD and You are worthy of our praise - HALLELUJAH! May this storm and all storms in the natural and supernatural always motivate us to run into Your safe arms, Abba Daddy - to You alone! LORD JESUS, You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life and no one comes to the Father except by you - WE TRUST YOU, LORD! Amen. "Then Jesus said to the disciples, 'Have faith in God. I assure you that you can say to this mountain, `May God lift you up and throw you into the sea,' and your command will be obeyed. All that's required is that you really believe and do not doubt in your heart. Listen to me! You can pray for anything, and if you believe, you will have it. But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.'" (from Mark 11) YESTERDAY, before going to The Holy Place, we went to the streets in Spandau to worship the LORD with instruments while others of us talked to people about Jesus. I spoke to 3 guys who were sitting on a bench drinking beer after their day at work and Bianka translated. They didn't believe in God and were not interested at all at first. But the Holy Spirit touched their hearts and they began to ask questions, especially after we said, "Did you know that the Bible says there is no God?" Then we showed them Psalm 14 which says, "Only fools say in their hearts, 'There is no God'!" Hahaha! Then right before we left, the one guy, Andrea, asked me what is the phone number to call God, and I said, "You want the number to talk to God? Ok, it is: JESUS!" which I yelled out very loudly" Hahahahaha! May they seek You, LORD, with all their heart! AMEN!

POURED OUT...
Jesus shouted to the crowds, "If you are thirsty, come to me! If you believe in me, come and drink! For the Scriptures declare that rivers of living water will flow out from within." (from John 7) When he said "living water," he was speaking of the Spirit, who would be given to everyone believing in him. But the Spirit had not yet been given, because Jesus had not yet entered into his glory. Today the Holy Spirit is freely available to those who come to Jesus and become His disciple. Are you willing to allow your life to be broken and poured out for others? Oswald Chambers says, "Our Lord’s teaching was always anti-self-realization. His purpose is not the development of a person— His purpose is to make a person exactly like Himself, and the Son of God is characterized by self-expenditure. If we believe in Jesus, it is not what we gain but what He pours through us that really counts. God’s purpose is not simply to make us beautiful, plump grapes, but to make us grapes so that He may squeeze the sweetness out of us. Our spiritual life cannot be measured by success as the world measures it, but only by what God pours through us— and we cannot measure that at all." Jesus' blood was poured out to forgive the sins of many, sealing the covenant between God and his people. As His followers, have we surrendered everything that hinders love in our lives? Today we have the gift of the Holy Spirit which has been poured out upon us believers. Whatever we are now, it is all because God poured out his special favor on us. So we praise God for the wonderful kindness he has poured out on us because we belong to his dearly loved Son. But even if our lives are to be poured out like a drink offering to complete the sacrifice of faithful service, by life or by death, we will rejoice! Our lives are not our own - we belong to the Father who generously poured out the Spirit upon us because of what Jesus Christ our Savior did. May the cry of our hearts be the same as Jesus when He prayed in the garden, "My Father... not as I will, but as you will". Amen!

Ernie listening to Tabea on August 5th
JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY, DUDE!
Today we were on the streets by the memorial church again worshipping & preaching and we saw Ernie who was homeless and drunk when we met him a few weeks ago (see August 5th blog post), so we prayed for him & encouraged him. We hadn't seen him until today and he has since then quit drinking and now has his own apartment! Plus God gave him is own guitar which we had prayed for - DANKE JESUS! He plays it for the street people and says it is his calling. He joined Tabea and Can today while they worshipped the LORD and Bianka preached. The rest of us talked to people and prayed for them. One married woman confessed her struggle with lesbianism and she prayed asking Jesus to forgive her - then she asked for directions to our church. We had LOTS of good conversations, but I've noticed that besides atheism, there is a BIG stronghold of spiritual slumber over many here, like they are drugged & don't really care about their eternal destination. I pray the LORD WAKE THEM UP SOON! I guess that's why we are here - like an alarm clock - irritating but necessary! Hahahaha - GET 'EM GOD!

Bianka in front of Berlin statue: "The Caller"
COME TO JESUS!
Yesterday, Bianka & I took turns preaching the Good News of Jesus on the steps of the memorial church along with Maria & Mary Anne. Again many seeds were planted and we talked to some and prayed for a few. 16-year-old Roland wanted to be born-again so we prayed with him - please bless him, Lord Jesus! On the way home on my street, we stopped to talked to a young man who we had spoken to before. He said he read the tract FOUR times that we gave him about a Moslem who became a Christian. Then he passed it on to friends at the small Turkish restaurant run mostly by Moslems on my street - GO GOD! Then another guy came up who spoke pretty good English - he too was very open to the Gospel. When I handed him the Turkish tract, he said, "This could change my life". We said back to him, "YES! Jesus wants to give you a NEW life!" He told us about someone else who has also been talking to him about Jesus! He borrowed my guitar and started singing the verse we showed him in the Bible to everyone in the restaurant, "Jesus said, I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life & no one comes to the Father except through me!" IT WAS GREAT - PLEASE SAVE THESE GUYS, LORD GOD!!!

"One day as Jesus was walking along the shores of the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother, Andrew, fishing with a net, for they were commercial fishermen. Jesus called out to them, 'Come, be my disciples, and I will show you how to fish for people!' And they left their nets at once and went with him." (from Mark 1)

THE FAITHFUL PROTECTION OF THE LORD!
A few days ago while walking to the Memorial Church in Kudamm where Bianka & I sometimes with others have been evangelizing, I noticed a feather on the sidewalk. Then as Bianka and were talking about the spiritual significance of feathers, I saw two more & I told her. Then she said, "Look, there's another one!" as we both saw a very small one floating down between us while we walked. We laughed with joy being reminded that wherever we go, the LORD IS WITH US and we can TRUST HIM TO PROTECT US - fear is so unnecessary! HALLELUJAH! Last night we went to the Teen Challenge cafe located in one of Berlin's oldest "red light" districts. We shared the love of Jesus with several prostitutes and drug addicts through prayer, music and preaching - the LORD ministered to us all! Now today, we are again going to Kudamm to evangelize. May the LORD open the ears of these people and lift the veil to they can received FREEDOM through the message of the CROSS in Jesus name. Amen. "Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare of the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I am trusting him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from the fatal plague. He will shield you with his wings. He will shelter you with his feathers. His faithful promises are your armor and protection. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor fear the dangers of the day, nor dread the plague that stalks in farkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday. Though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, these evils will not touch you." (from Psalm 91)

Enjoying a Hawaiian sunrise
NEVER THE SAME AGAIN
Today, I am going to tell you a story. It is not a pleasant story but an important story. All over the world everyday, innocent lives are being killed through all forms of abortion & I want to help STOP ABORTION. So, I am going to tell you about my PRO-CHOICE DECISION in hopes that you will be provoked to help stop abortion too.

First let me ask, who reading this message has been personally touched by abortion? Or maybe the question should be, who HASN'T been touched in some way by abortion? Whether you have had an abortion or if you drove your girl friend to the clinic, we all at least know someone who has had an abortion. This is not some minor surgical procedure that protects the health of the mother. No, this is outright murder of a human life and it is TOTALLY GRUESOME & inhumane however or whenever it is done.

I know, I had an abortion many years ago BEFORE the Roe vs. Wade court decision legalized abortion across America.

In a southern California university medical center, I convinced them that I needed to have this abortion for my own mental health. They didn't argue much with me and so shortly thereafter, I was admitted. There were 6 beds in the room filled with women of various ages. The tone was somber and we didn't talk much to one another - we were all there for the same reason - abortion for our late-term pregnancy.

The nurse took me into a small room where they did "the procedure" (saline abortion involves replacing some of the fluid in the uterus with a salt solution using a long needle. I discovered years later that this actually burns the living baby alive in the womb). We were located in the burn unit of the hospital and in the next room you could heard loud, bone-chilling screaming. I was told this was a patient being put into a bath where the bandages were being removed and pulling off the skin - I should have left then.

So for me, something went wrong with "the procedure" and they said they would have to do "it" again tomorrow. Later in the wee hours of the night, I was suddenly woken up to screaming from one of the girls in the room. A nurse came in, pulled the curtain around her and eventually, she stopped and I fell back asleep.

The next moring the girl was gone and I was taken again for "the procedure" which proved to be "sucessful". Later that night, I suddenly went into heavy labor. In great pain, I called the nurse who came but could not do much. She left and I kept ringing the bell because the pain was so great. She got irritated with me, saying she was very busy and left again.

Then it happened. I gave birth to a purple colored dead baby in my bed. One more time, I rang the nurse and she came. With a disgusted look on her face, she said the next shift was coming and they would clean up "this mess". So for about 1/2 hour, I lay on my side with a dead baby and placenta (after-birth) behind me. (Jesus I know you have forgiven me of this horrible sin, but it still hurts when I think about it - I am so sorry, LORD.)

Finally, the next nurse came, cleaned up "the mess" and I left, returning to my life, never the same again...