July 17, 2005


50 Shekel, the Jewish rapper who dubbed himself the "The World's Most Kosher MC," is now calling himself "The Jewish Jesus Freak."
THE RESURRECTION OF 50 SHEKEL
The rapper, Aviad Cohen, announced last week on his web site that he had joined Jews for Jesus. Shek tells the glorious tale about how he saw the light one fine Sabbath on the upper west side when the spirit moved him to violate the Holy Day and cop a disk at Best Buy. And not just any ole disk... "Was anybody looking? I was in my black Gianfranco Ferre Shabbos suit. Nah, no Jews here, they're all eating gefilte fish and horseradish; it's appetizer time at Shabbos lunch tables. I know the driedel drill. Back to the flick. What was the big falafel fuss about this movie? What's the big spiel deal? Prior to this day all I could hear was The Passion was anti-Semitic, gave a bad name to Jews, it will inciting hatred towards Jews and so on. I grabbed a copy of Agent Cody Banks on DVD as well, which I also bought, so I could cover up the copy of The Passion on DVD when I went to pay for it. I went up to the register lady, slowly put the two DVDs on the table. I remember, slowwwwllly placing it on the table. As if I was in some sort of "Top Secret" mission, slipping someone money in exchange for a piece of secret and valuable information, or as if it was some hush\-hush money for drugs exchanged, like in a Miami Vice episode. I gave her the money, looked around to make sure that no Jews could see that I'm buying The Passion. The DVDs were in da bag. Mission accomplished, but I wasn't up to the "get away" part just yet. I still had to pass through the Judaism jungle of NYC. I was on the subway, headed back to Queens. I came home to my apartment. Opened up the DVD. Popped it into my Apple Powerbook. Started the movie. HOLY SHABBBOS!!!! This movie is Jewish. Jesus is Jewish! His name is YESHUA? May neeshtana, ha layla ha zeh Wait! I thought this movie was supposed to be anti-Semitic. This is the coolest Jewish movie I have ever seen. The Pharisees look familiar -- similar to The Pharisees of today. The top Pharisee looks almost exactly like the Rabbi I swore to never deal with in NYC. After seeing The Passion, my mouth was wide open for about 20 minutes straight. I was shocked. 'Oh my God, Jesus was Yeshua. Jesus was the Messiah. Messiah is Moshiach, the Annointed One that we've been waiting for. This movie is not anti-Semitic. I have just fallen in love with God. I love being a Jew. Thank you Mel Gibson. You're a Catholic and you just unveiled to me our Moshiach. You just helped me totally understand that there is more to being a Jew than just driedels and latkes. So why do so many Jews hate you? They should be cheering you and your movie on! Mel Gibson has more matzoh balls than Steven Spielberg. After that, I went online to read the book of Matthew in The New Testament. Wow! Jewish! Legit! Thanks Mel, if not for God using you and your crew mightily for His purposes, I would have gone straight to eternal hell and would have never known what it really means to be true Jew. You have major matzoh balls to tell the most important true story to ever hit the silver screen. This is my #1 movie of all time and Mel Gibson is the most important director to ever emerge out of Hollywood."

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