My abortion happened over 35 years ago and I still have regrets. The pain is deep but God love goes deeper. When a woman acknowledges the fact that she killed her child, it is so hard to get over.
Through the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, I found forgiveness and healing. May you too, I pray.
Below is an email I received today at my youtube site from a stranger. It is followed by my reply:
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I'm really glad I came across your site. I'm not one that believes in coincidence. I subscribed soon after viewing your testimony. I've recently started to seek god more aggressively after some years as a lukewarm christian.
I grew up attending a Baptist Church as many as three days a week sometimes and ALLLL DAYYYY Sundays. I remember waking up at 5:30 or 6 every sunday morning as a child and attending 2-3 services not to mention VBS classes. I recall sensing vanity, hypocrisy, and a pre-occupation with socializing in the church I attended even as a young child. In the black community we generally refer to these elements, or the combination of there of , as "Signafyin' and or "Carryin' on". LOL Maybe you learne something new there. Maybe not...I digress.
As a result I became very dissillusioned with the conventional institution of church and chose instead to congregate with those of like mind. I also began to see that profit was a major factor as well. I was 12 when I refused to go for the first time. That was a little over a decade ago. Since then I have not been a regular church goer. I have found that, with few exceptions, it is nearly impossible to find an church/pastor that has a consistently strong scriptural message. Instead what I found were "soft", for lack of a better term, cowardly lifecoach types that turn church service into a feelgood session and the Bible into a fairytale.
I've always maintained accountability and dialog with god. However, it wasn't until more recently when I had time to turn my years-old curiosity regarding secret societies into serious research on the the illuminati, mystery babylon, and the jesiut ecumenical movement that I really started to understand the truth behind what my instinct told me years ago regarding modern "Christianity".
So maybe you can understand why I am relieved and a little excited to see you and others like you spread the truth. It's funny... sometimes I catch myself thinking, "Am I going crazy?", when,in fact, it is the world that is becoming more and more like an episode of The Twilight Zone lol. I'm curious as to what eye opening info your German friend layed on you.
My fiancee and I recently had an abortion. Although our feeling was that the procedure was a reasonable alternative considering we're both young, broke, and unable to provide a child anything more than our love we have come to regret this decision. And although I don't take this matter lightly, I am doing "great" compared to her. She tends to repress things but occasionally something seemingly random will trigger an emotional outburst. She cries for what seems like hours and I'm helpless to console her despite my efforts. She feels extremely guilty about "Killing her child" and is sure she is being punished. She hasn't told her mother about the procedure and has a great deal of guilt about that as well. She feels that telling her mother may help but she also knows that it would potentially devastate her. So it seems her pain will never end.
I love her a great deal and I'm desperate to find some relief for her. However, as a man I am at a disadvantage in understanding her pain. What advice would you give her? And what can I do to make her feel better considering she only talks to me about this?
I understand that it may take some time to read,process,and respond to this "book" lol
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Bless your heart and thank you so much for your honest message as your share bits of your journey.
Your abortion story has brought tears to my eyes as this is painful for all of us... and it's ESPECIALLY painful to the LORD. As you know, He is the only One who can bring healing and forgiveness. Is your finance born again, do you know?
What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
My abortion was over 30 years ago and even though I know I'm forgiven and the sting is gone, every now and again, it hits me hard. What do I do then?
The name of the Lord is a strong tower. the righteous run into it and they are safe.
There are Christian crisis pregnancy centers which offer post-abortion counseling and Bible studies. I did that and then began to teach the post-abortion Bible study - very powerful and very helpful.
As hard as it is for you, you need to let her grieve the loss. One thing I highly recommend is that you both pray for each other. If she's not ready to pray, ask her if you can pray aloud for her each day. If she doesn't want that, you can pray silently for her. The Lord hears the cry of our hearts and He cares.
And I am praying for you both:
Dear heavenly Father, thank you for this young couple. It is a difficult time for them and their pain is deep but we know that Your love goes deeper. I ask that you please touch and heal them, set them free and continue to convict them of sin as You guide them on the path of life. Forgive me Lord of my sin and thank You Holy Spirit for convicting me. Draw us closer to you each day and make us like You we pray - may You be glorified in everything we think, say and do I pray in the name of Your Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Thank You for the cross and for the resurrection. Thank You, Heavenly Father. We love you and we need You more and more each day! Amen.
PS When you can, check out this website and listen to Kelly McGinley's radio show which I have found to be a blessing: http://www.thebereanchronicles.com/
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Then I followed with this:
Found this on amazon.com
"Forgiven and Set Free: A Post-Abortion Bible Study for Women"
by Linda Cochrane